Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
