So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
