she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
