Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
