Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
