i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
