dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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