I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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