I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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