You really coming over, don't trick.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
