Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
