Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
