Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
