I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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