whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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