matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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