dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Duck Duck Cougar?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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