How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
