She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
