Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
