Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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