I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
