can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
