I wannas sexs uuuuu
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
