my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
