I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
