I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
