cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
