I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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