I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Are we still banned from the library?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
