my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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