he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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