even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
