i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
