Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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