We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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