He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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