I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
