I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize