I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
