spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
