No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
