"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Randomize
