forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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