marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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