i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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