he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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