well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
