we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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