New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Terrible idea I love it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
