I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
