She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
